I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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