I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
