Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
What a dumb baby whore.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
