I'm going to rape someone's good day.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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