is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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