While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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