Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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