dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
