shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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