I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
