I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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