I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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