look no pants
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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