we have officially lost it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
