i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
