I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
