I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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