What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
