I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
