I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
