He kissed a someone with a penis
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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