this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
