just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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