Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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