my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
