apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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