i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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