so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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