I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
