btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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