Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
