she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
