Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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