i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this beer tastes like vomit already
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
