her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
