Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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