theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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