fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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