I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
