3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
