I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
