All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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