I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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