I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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