he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
