all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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