When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
