i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
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Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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