Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize