Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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