don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
