Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
