Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
