Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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