VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We got so high we made milksteak
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
3 2 1 whiskey
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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