Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
