singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
