I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
