why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
