Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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