Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
