Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize