dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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