WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
