btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
