i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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