you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Houston, we have a blender
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
