note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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