And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
