i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
