kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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